Someone With Stories

It was only when I seriously wanted to share my own or others’ stories with someone that I realized I had no stories. For example, last night at dinner, I wanted to share with colleagues a story from Huang Renyu’s 1587, a Year of No Significance to prove that orthodox history and textbook history aren’t the same thing. But after searching my mind three times, I couldn’t come up with a single concrete argument. I could only keep repeating, “They’re different, really different.” It felt so pathetic. Where had all the books I’d read gone? Was my judgment at that moment just a flash of insight from back then—remembering only the conclusion, not the process?

I’m naturally a quiet person. The times I desperately want to share my own stories are few and far between—either when I meet someone exceptional, or when I feel I have to say a few words. The first case is when I encounter people more impressive than myself holding forth; I want to join in to show we’re kindred spirits or to compete. The second is in public settings where everyone is sharing stories and experiences, and to blend in I have to smear myself with a bit of mud. Either way, it’s tough for someone like me who lives more through introspection than communication. Introspective people draw knowledge, beliefs, and energy from books, films, music, and any other cultural resources, which then form their code of conduct—unlike extroverts who can get fired up and confident after one drinking session or one conversation. Therefore, introspective people differ vastly from extroverts in how they chat. My code of conduct and beliefs come mostly from reading, movies, or the internet. Because of information overload, I’ve developed the habit of forgetting things right after reading them. So my knowledge system doesn’t have a clear story database—vague concepts are what I remember most. For these reasons, I’m not qualified to be a storyteller. I never talk about my own stories or emotions. It’s not the arrogance people usually assume.

Now that I know what kind of person I am, the next challenge is how to enrich my story bank. There are basically two ways: remember interesting things from life, draw a conclusion, and share it with friends; or remember friends’ interesting stories and share them with others. You could even learn from insurance salespeople and tell other people’s stories as your own, but never repeat them.