Blind Date

Tonight I went to my uncle’s house for dinner and saw my younger cousin and his blind date girlfriend all over each other. I was secretly amazed.

Let me first talk about his family situation. My uncle’s family in Chengdu has a car and a house, no debts. They co-own a small clothing factory with friends, have several shops and some small investments. I don’t know much, but from what I do know, their financial situation is pretty good.

My cousin is only one month younger than me, has a technical school diploma, and can repair elevators. Last year while working at an elevator company, he happened to be assigned to maintain the elevators in their neighborhood. He was in his element, playing games at home all day. In the second half of the year he quit and was sent by my uncle to a construction site in Xichang to work. The site never started, so he just played around in Xichang for two months before returning to Chengdu.

At this age where he’s neither here nor there, having no job doesn’t matter since the family is well-off. But at least he should have a girlfriend, right? Spending all day online—what kind of situation is that? Every Spring Festival, blind date season blooms everywhere, and my aunt is one of the main players. As long as she hears about some family’s daughter still single, she drags my cousin off to a blind date. That day I was also at my grandmother’s house. In the afternoon, my cousin called back and told my uncle to hurry up and clean the house—the girl’s family was coming to see it. Our rural houses here are all brick houses, pretty much the same. You can guess what they look like with your eyes closed. And if they were going to look at a house, it should be the one in Chengdu, but they still wanted to come, which meant this blind date carried a hint of engagement. I’ve rarely seen my uncle so nervous. After the call, he grabbed a broom and started cleaning while directing others to do other things. It felt a bit like welcoming a bride. The whole room teased him. My mom couldn’t stand it and went to help clean too.

I really thought this was an engagement, or maybe rural people are just straightforward. Besides, by relation we’re distant enough that even if the deal doesn’t go through, the courtesy remains. That evening, two tables of people played drinking games, ate and drank heartily. I drank quite a bit and even called that girl “sister-in-law”—only to be reminded afterward that I shouldn’t call her that yet. Young people always have too much enthusiasm. After dinner we still weren’t satisfied, so we took the girl and drove over the asphalt road damaged by heavy trucks from highway construction to the KTV in town to sing. My cousin isn’t good at expressing himself—his emotions seem to wait for others to take charge. Sitting with this girl, I was really anxious for him. Meanwhile, others chatted idly, and we only left after finishing two cases of beer.

When the whole group returned to the old house, there wasn’t enough space to sleep. My cousin and I shared a bed. I asked how he felt about this girl. He said: “She’s short.” I found it strange that up to that point, no one had commented on the girl’s appearance. I guessed it was 50% because my cousin isn’t particularly handsome either, so he had no right to judge others’ looks.

The next morning I left. Later I heard the girl came to Chengdu with my cousin to play for a few days, but my aunt gradually worried that the girl’s height might affect future children’s genes. Hearing there was another promising girl, she sent this one back home and prepared for the next round of blind dates.

Last night, my aunt called to say this girl came to Chengdu again—this time at her father’s instruction.

Hahahahahahahahaha…

Suddenly I feel love is so fucking complicated. At first meeting, they size each other up by conditions. After meeting, you can no longer tell what’s true and what’s false behind it all. This old monk is foolish and can’t understand this play.