2011 Year-End Summary

Time flies faster and faster. It feels like yesterday I was on the rooftop of Building 1, facing that massive paper transmission device, and tomorrow is already 2012, no matter how hard I try to resist. As usual, it’s time to write the year-end summary…

Overall, this year was neither good nor bad. Compared to last year’s events, it felt quite dull. Almost no exercise, didn’t learn much, didn’t find the other half of my life—life’s fluctuations were zero. Before I knew it, another fraction of my life slipped away in mediocrity. Looking at it from any angle, it’s rather sad.

I counted my QQ status updates from 2011—exactly 40, maybe only a third of 2010’s. If these statuses reflect my expectations and attachments to life, then clearly my mood was very down this year. On the last day, I tried to post a status. After racking my brain, I only managed “Happy New Year to you all.” After sending, it somehow posted to my own message board. I mocked myself a bit, deleted it with two clicks. Time and distance aren’t just killers of romance—sometimes friendships and family ties also perish at their blade. Oh well. I don’t know what else to say.

This year on Weibo, I was obviously very active, but that activity only highlighted an overwhelming, irrepressible loneliness. Written expression amplifies the weight of one’s beliefs. I just wanted to say something, no matter how faint the impact. Weibo delivers endless real-time information to netizens—some find it boring, some find it interesting. I think you have the kind of sky that matches your soul. What you follow determines how you feel, as you’ve seen.

In February of this year, I went back home for two classmate reunions. My junior high classmates were pure and warm, as if we hadn’t been apart for six years. My high school classmates each had their own circles and mindsets. I guess the difference is that most elementary and junior high classmates have ventured out into society, experienced the preciousness of hometown connections after drifting elsewhere, so they were more enthusiastic at the gathering.

Near the end of the year, one afternoon my dad suddenly fainted. Friends took him to the hospital before calling my mom, saying he was unconscious. The sudden news shocked us! On the taxi to the hospital, I suddenly felt an unbearable weight. We got stuck in heavy traffic for what felt like forever. I ran through countless scenarios in my head, preparing for every possible outcome life might throw at me. I remember I didn’t pray that day—life is just like this, and besides facing it calmly, there’s nothing else to do. We even took a wrong turn and ran several extra blocks before finding the right hospital. I rushed into the ER and found Dad awake, tears around his eyes from the pain. Then I handled all the hospital procedures. Thankfully, Dad was fine. I guessed it was probably related to his diet. So during summer break, I ate a lot of rabbit meat—Dad said rabbit has only 3% fat.

Then in April and May, I met Xiaoxin—the lively one in our group. She was the catfish in the catfish effect. After she stirred things up, I met Xiaoluo, Minmin, and a guy from my department. We went from online to offline dinners together. Interestingly, the first person I met online from my department was a girl. Our department had so few people that once she revealed a bit of info online, I quickly identified her through elimination. Unfortunately, minutes later she also figured out who I was. That’s how we met.

Academically, nothing much to say—university is like that. If you study well, you pass; if not, you fail. Some chase girls, some play games, some… well, you know. Each does their own thing, goes home to their own mom. I stayed home for a month during summer break, bought a bunch of novels to read, accomplished nothing. Mom pushed me to find a part-time job; I wanted to work with Dad, but it all fizzled out. In the hottest part of August, I spent a few days in Chongqing, met up with ZH classmate. First time meeting a blog friend, and I forgot to take a photo—kind of regrettable. Three days after returning from Chongqing, I went to Mianyang and stayed in its famous red-light district for over ten days, witnessing how fallen women, police, and other citizens coexist peacefully. At the Changhong factory, through interactions with employees, I discovered the company has very low efficiency. As one training center supervisor put it: “Before, you’d drive a BMW in and drive a motorcycle out. After the plasma screen production line started, now you can drive an Accord out.” Watching their stock this past half-year, I think that statement was spot on.

After returning to school, in mid-October I went on a bike trip and completely fell in love with this mode of travel. Later, on a high school classmate’s space who also loves cycling, I found a quote I really liked: “Even as a woman, one should have the heroic spirit to wander the world with a sword.” As a man, what do I have to fear?

During National Day, I went home, visited Qionghai Lake, and the construction site of Guanghan Flight Academy. Back at school, I participated in campus recruitment and got nothing, but my views on employment changed a lot—I no longer want to work.

At the end of November, I went to driving school and began the daily commute life. Due to time constraints, I still couldn’t take the test.

(Ended on New Year’s Day 2012)